Marital Life Lessons: How to Be Successful in Your Marriage From Day 1

July 23, 2022

Written by Thomas Downes

status single married complicated divorced happy

July 23, 2022

Written by Thomas Downes

Ah, the marriage. One of the most emotional, joyful, and fulfilling moments of our lives. However, this paradise could quickly turn out to be a nightmare if you aren’t careful.

You see, marriage is a bond of strong commitment. A married couple is like a two-wheeled vehicle, say a motorbike. If one of the wheels collapses, the vehicle is destined to doom.

That’s why you need to give everything you can to keep the bond firm.

But how, exactly, can you do that? Well, it’s not that simple. But if you have the right pieces of information up your sleeves, you will definitely be able to pull it off.

So, we have put together a list of the best tips you need to harness from day 1 of your marriage.

Let’s get into it.

Top Tips to Build a Strong Marriage from Day 1

First and foremost, don’t expect perfection!

Remember, even the best couples have disagreements.

If you’re thinking you’re never going to have an argument with your partner, you’re wrong. Each and every couple has some sort of disagreement, argument, or even fight, from time to time.

However, there’s a massive difference in the way a mature couple handles the situation, and an immature couple does.

Don’t expect your married life to be a perfect garden. Be prepared for small arguments and disagreements, as it will help you stay realistic and prepare for potential tricky situations.

Communication is the key

Remember how we said mature and immature couples handle disagreements differently? Well, communication is one of the major differences.

If you want your marriage to succeed, the first thing you need to learn is transparency.

It’s time you give up your bossy, IDC kind of attitude and learn to communicate at every turn of the road. Whenever there’s a fight, an argument, or even a small disagreement, learn to put out your perspective in the humblest way possible.

Plus, remember that communication isn’t a monologue, it’s a dialogue. Both of you have the right to speak and explain their side.

So, while you’re explaining the story from your side, learn to be a good listener when your partner is doing the same. Plus it’s not only about listening. Don’t just listen to them for the sake of it; understand them.

Learn to admit it when what they’re saying makes more sense. There’s no shame in admitting your faults in front of your partner.

Trust your spouse

Trust is the key to a healthy, loving relationship. If you distrust your partner at every turn, the relationship is already set to doom.

If you know your partner is loyal to you, don’t question each of their tiny attributes. For instance, if their friends’ circle includes people from the opposite sex, it doesn’t mean they’re cheating on you. Don’t be that toxic.

While turning a blind eye to apparent signs is stupid, you shouldn’t question everything that you find suspicious. If something or someone is bothering you, make sure to communicate it with your partner.

If you two really love each other, then your partner would certainly give up on the person you don’t like if you ask them to. You see, as mentioned earlier, communication between partners is everything.

Don’t judge too quickly

“You always do this!”, You are so…”, “I know you’re going to disappoint me!” — these are some of the common lines thrown around during an argument, and they absolutely destroy the marriage!

The ground rule is to never judge your partner based on what you think of them. Plus, if they did something disappointing in the past, don’t use it as a weapon to judge them in the future.

Judging leads to a series of problems. First, you’d never be able to accept that your partner might actually be right, and they did what they did for a reason.

Second, it might actually pursue your partner to behave how you’re judging them — and this might lead to drastic circumstances, which you want to avoid at all costs.

You don’t need to win all the time

Your marriage is not a fighting pit, you don’t need to win all the time!

Throughout your marital life, you will face several instances when the issue won’t be even worth arguing. In such cases, it might be a better idea to let your partner win the battle, without even starting the argument.

You need to learn to differentiate between the topics that are worth talking about and the ones that aren’t.

As you won’t get any prize bond for winning against your partner, it’s an amazing idea to just ignore tiny disagreements altogether and fix them up with a bit of lovely talk.

But of course, when you do feel like the topic is worth talking about, do it. But even then, there’s nothing wrong in losing the battle, even when you were right.

By that, we don’t mean you should accept accusations and reply with “Yes, you’re right”. But instead, use this line when you know the issue isn’t that sensitive.

For example, say your spouse suspects a certain person wants to get in between you two. Even when you know that person is innocent, there’s nothing wrong in saying, “You’re right, I’ll keep that person a mile away from now on.”

Remember, it’s your marriage. Only you two’s. Don’t weaken it by trying to defend others.

Keep your couple matters to yourself

Whenever an argument breaks out between you two, don’t go out talking about it to everyone. Instead, keep it private and sort it out inside your home.

Firstly, remember that no one is as sincere in your marriage as you two. If you involve someone else, they’d probably give out nasty advice that will weaken your bond.

For instance, friends often say, “You deserve better than this!”, “Why do you take it from them? You should leave them ASAP!”. You don’t want to hear stuff like that.

Other people will never be able to understand how close you two are, and how much both of you sacrifice for each other. So, don’t let a third person tell you what to do when they’ve only heard a tiny bit of your story.

Partners rarely get embarrassed in front of each other, especially the ones who’re very close to each other. They’re comfortable opening up their weaknesses to their better halves.

However, the moment you open up about your partner’s private matters to someone else, they may get embarrassed. And hear us out, you never want to embarrass your partner in front of other people.

The lesson here is: learn to sort out your matters yourself. Don’t open up about them with others.

If you landed here but are actually in troubled waters already in your marriage check these other posts out as they might be actually very helpful depending on your issues:

- Rebuilding Trust in Your Relationship, if it's Been Broken Already

- Tips on Better Communication

- Practical Advice for a Healthy Relationship

The Bottom Line

Marriage is a bond of love, understanding, commitment, and sacrifice. Break either one of these pillars and your marital life would suffer.

Practice these tips from the first day of your marriage, and see how your relationship rises and shines throughout the years.

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